There is no way to happiness - happiness is the way.

—Nhat Hanh

We all strive to be happy, but sometimes it feels elusive. But there is a pathway - and it starts with gratitude. Personally, I find that the phrase "just be grateful for what you have” is not always effective in bringing about a positive change. In today's discussion, we will demonstrate the transformative influence of gratitude by adjusting our perspective from a sense of entitlement to one of appreciation.

Anti-Gratitude

To begin with, I would like to emphasize three qualities that can hinder or even halt our progress toward fulfilling our desires:

1. Impatience - Just as wearing braces for a few days won't fix crooked teeth, being grateful a few times won't solve all our problems. Developing an attitude of gratitude requires patience and a consistent effort to focus on and appreciate what we have in life, even when faced with challenges and difficulties. It's essential to ask ourselves two critical questions: What do we truly want, and are we willing to focus positively to attain it?

2. Lack - A mindset of lack prevents us from feeling grateful by focusing our attention on what is missing rather than what we already have. It perpetuates negativity, drains our emotional and cognitive energy, and limits our perspective, ultimately hindering our ability to appreciate and be grateful for the present moment. There’s a saying that I love - “You have to use what you've got to get what you want.” Perfectly applicable here!

3. Expectation - Feeling entitled and believing that we are owed something often reflects a sense of superiority and an expectation that we deserve special treatment. An entitled attitude can result in insensitive and rude behavior, turning people off and creating barriers. Additionally, entitlement can set us up for disappointment when we don't get what we feel we deserve.

Recognizing these qualities in ourselves and intentionally shifting our mindset from scarcity to abundance is possible. Below is a practical demonstration of gratitude in action. We are all meant to find happiness, but some roads will get you there faster. See for yourself.

Happy Packets

Let’s put ourselves on the giving end for a moment. Let’s say you were giving out little packets of happiness to a lineup of people. One after the other, they come to you, eagerly anticipating to receive a dose of Happy. The first person comes up to you and declares her intention, “Thank you! I’m so happy that I’m receiving some Happy!” You can see the appreciation in her eyes and the big smile on her face as you give her a packet of happiness. As she walks away, you know that she will cherish this. You wish you could give her some more, but sorry, only one Happy Packet per person for now.

Then, the next person stands before you. This guy is annoyed and there’s a big cloud over his head. In his mind, he’s been waiting all day. His back is hurting, he’s afraid that the Happy Packets will run out, and he’s thinking to himself, “I should get more than one packet for all of the crap I put up with. I’ve been waiting so long… I deserve more than anyone else.” So, he speaks to you loudly and demands, “Where’s my Happy Packet? I should get two for waiting this long!”. Tell the truth – I’ll bet you don’t even want to give him the one that he’s been waiting for, right? Nonetheless, you reluctantly hand one over. During the exchange, he grabs the Happy Packet out of your hand. As you try to let go, the packet rips, causing the contents to spill all over the floor. His level of frustration has now reached an all-time high. He storms off without the Happy Packet and complains about it for the rest of the day. No happiness for him. He received just the opposite.

They both wanted some happiness, but it was the source of their desire that ultimately determined the result each received. If you find ways to be grateful for what you have, I guarantee the things you desire will find their way to you. A little bit of patience, a good attitude, and some faith will collectively bring more of what you want in life. It’s not what you want, it’s how you want.

Thank you for reading this blog post! If you enjoyed the content and want to learn more about the topics discussed, I highly recommend checking out my book, REFLECT: A Perspective on Understanding Your Reality and Becoming Unstuck. In it, I dive deeper into the strategies and insights shared in this post, offering even more valuable information and practical advice. Click here to order your copy of REFLECT today! You can also visit my website for more information.