Book and Media

One evening, mom and dad, along with their two young boys Tony and Bob, were in the living room watching an opera on TV. While the boys were positioned on the floor sporting matching pajamas, a busty woman wearing a low-cut blouse began to sing. Bob’s eyes popped and jaw dropped when he saw her! He looked at his older brother with an expression of bewilderment and said, “Hey Tony, look at where that lady’s ass is!”

Life is not always what it seems. This short but true story referencing my two oldest brothers is a simple example of how our minds work. It is not what we perceive that creates our reality, but how we perceive or interpret what’s inside and outside of ourselves that shapes our world. The world reflects back to us what’s going on inside – and from there, our individual reality is formed.

What we think we see or experience can be very different from what is actually going on. Sometimes we see what we want to see – and our ability to interpret can get complicated, especially when we’re unaware, unwilling, or unable to see clearly. Throw in a little emotion and things really start to get interesting! When we consciously or unconsciously don’t deal with what’s actually happening, we don’t see the situation clearly and our perceptions get distorted. When our perception is distorted, we may find ourselves operating on auto-pilot, gravitating towards substance abuse, or some other way of disowning what we do not want to face about ourselves – just to escape from experiencing pain.

However, undesirable or painful experiences can instead be used as tools for awareness of what’s really going on – but only when you’re ready. Our experiences, especially the ones that we interpret as “negative”, are designed to bring us closer to being balanced or centered. When you are centered, you are able to see more clearly. When we acknowledge what’s honestly going on with love and without judgment or blame, we grow and learn from our experiences. We move closer to being in balance and experiencing peace. In order to have balance, you need opposites. If there were only good things in life, we would not understand what bad things are – and vice versa. You need the good, the bad, and the balancing of good and bad to experience peace and harmony.

The desire to honestly understand “why” things aren’t going the way you want is the most significant step in changing your life for the better. Our reality is continuously evolving, individually and collectively. Can you change what happened in the past? In “reality”, yes (you’ll see what I mean as you read on). In fact, in light of defense mechanisms which help us cope, we are probably all guilty of remembering things that happened differently than what had actually occurred. In “actuality”, we cannot change the past, but there is always an opportunity to change from your present moment and beyond: remember, our reality is continuously evolving. You do have the power to change the direction and quality of your life, no matter how old you are or what you may be feeling right now. Even in situations where we escape from feeling pain or fear, we ALWAYS have opportunities to redirect our lives for the better. We just need the will to acknowledge what’s going on and the awareness to accept where we are without judgment or blame. Easier said than done, right?