Negativity often creeps into our lives silently and can quickly take root – sometimes in a matter of moments – affecting our mood, productivity, and overall well-being. However, recognizing its origins can enable us to mitigate its impact on us. Here’s how we can start to recognize, understand, and then actively shift our mindset away from negativity.
Where Does Negativity Come From?
Negativity stems from a variety of sources including stress, fear, past experiences, unexpected or unwanted change, and sometimes the overwhelming pressure of our daily responsibilities. At times, it’s a defense mechanism, an automatic learned response against disappointment or failure which helps us falsely feel in control. However, what initially helps us quickly becomes a hindrance. Recognizing this is the first step in the process of managing negative thoughts more effectively. We all feel swamped by negative thoughts at times, and I’m no exception. It’s not rare for me to feel completely caught up in a wave of negativity, like it’s taking over every part of my life. When I remember that everyone is susceptible to periods of negativity, I find it easier to forgive myself and others, recognizing these moments as part of our human experience. I know what I need to do next: look for a way to break free.
Why Is It Hard to Let Go of Negativity?
Letting go of negative thoughts is challenging because our brain’s tendency to focus on and remember negative experiences more intensely, a trait designed for survival by highlighting potential dangers. It all boils down to the instinctual drive for survival.
This inclination, along with deep-seated pessimistic thinking shaped by previous hardships and societal pressures, ensures negativity frequently overshadows our thoughts. Deep-seated pessimism isn’t just a fleeting thought or a temporary mood but a more permanent disposition that colors the entirety of one’s experience.
Another challenge also comes from an unsettling truth: indulging in negative thoughts can sometimes provide a strange sense of satisfaction or familiarity. Engaging in negative thoughts can become addictive, seemingly validating our struggles. Additionally, it can bond us with others through shared complaints, promoting a sense of understanding. However, the comfort found in negativity is deceptive. It’s similar to scratching an itch; it feels relieving in the moment but ultimately it can make things worse by keeping us in a state of distress and preventing us from moving forward.
Even though it calls for a modest effort, there is a straightforward path to shift this negativity in a positive direction and it starts with awareness.
Recognizing Negative Focus
Recognizing the signs that you’re nearing a negative spiral can be a subtle and easy-to-miss process, especially if you’re not attuned to your emotional triggers and thought patterns.
The first crucial step in combating a negative cycle is simply realizing that you’re in one. This may sound simple, but it often requires deep introspection and mindfulness. Pay attention to your thought patterns: Are you constantly anticipating the worst? Do you find yourself dwelling on mistakes or problems more than successes or solutions? Here are some signs that can indicate you’re caught in such a cycle:
- Persistent Negative Thoughts – Constantly expecting the worst to happen or viewing situations and people through a pessimistic lens without considering positive outcomes.
- Overgeneralization – Making broad interpretations from a single or few events. For example, if something goes wrong, thinking it will always be like this. See my last blog, Survival or Sabotage: The Double-Edged Reality of Assumption-Making, for more information about the dangers of making assumptions.
- Increased Irritability or Frustration – This one is pretty obvious, but finding yourself more easily annoyed, angry, or upset than usual can be a sign that negative thoughts are affecting your emotional state.
- Feelings of Hopelessness or Helplessness – Feeling like nothing you do matters or that you have no power to change your circumstances. For me, this is the worst feeling. However, as feelings of hopelessness emerge, I’ve learned that they stem from a perspective I’ve chosen, and such perspectives can change.
- Self-Criticism or Low Self-Esteem – Engaging in harsh self-criticism or experiencing a drop in self-confidence. You might find that you’re always blaming yourself, even for things outside your control. Check out my blog, How I Learned To Stop Hating on Myself for a deeper dive into this self-sabotaging habit.
- Withdrawing from Social Interactions – Pulling away from friends, family, or activities you usually enjoy can be a sign of a negative spiral, especially if it’s motivated by a desire to avoid dealing with your feelings or because you feel you’ll bring others down.
- Difficulty in Finding Joy – Struggling to feel happy or satisfied, even in moments or activities that used to bring you joy.
- Changes in Physical Well-Being – Motivated to do, well, nothing? Do you notice changes in your sleep patterns, appetite, or energy levels? This can be a signal of a negative cycle brewing.
- Catastrophizing – Exaggerating the importance of your problems or jumping to the worst possible conclusions with little evidence.
- Ruminating – Also known as worrying. Repeatedly thinking about or dwelling on negative thoughts, incidents, or feelings without moving towards resolution or acceptance.
Changing Your Mindset
Now that you have the means to recognize signs of falling into a negative spiral, here’s how to climb out of it.
- Practice Being Present: Being present and fully engaging with the here and now can help you identify and disrupt negative thought cycles. Try starting with just a few minutes a day of quiet reflection or meditation.
- Shift Your Focus: This might seem harder than it actually is but just try it. Intentionally redirect your attention towards positive aspects of your life. Find one aspect that brings you happiness and focus on it. Once you are focused, spend some more time thinking about it.
- Positive Self-Talk: Are you making negative statements about yourself? Catch yourself and replace it with a positive statement about yourself. Over time, these affirmations can reshape your beliefs about yourself and your life.
- Set Small, Achievable Goals: If you’re feeling negative because you’re stretched too thin or swamped, know that you are not alone. In our rapidly moving society, it’s easy to quickly feel as though you’re drowning. Achieving even minor objectives can elevate your self-esteem and combat the sense of insufficiency or defeat that typically fuels negative sentiments.
- Seek Positive Interactions and Environments: Surround yourself with supportive and optimistic people. If that’s not possible, at least surround yourself with positive stimuli, such as an uplifting movie or go to a place where you just feel good, like a park or a bookstore (my personal favorite). Positivity can indeed be contagious, and being around others who are positive can influence your mood and outlook.
- Professional Guidance: There’s strength in seeking help. If negative thinking is deeply entrenched, therapists can offer strategies and insights that might be more difficult to realize on your own. Seeking advice from an unbiased source, as opposed to someone close to you, can make a big difference. It opens the door to new perspectives and honest feedback, offering breakthroughs and answers that might be missed when talking to those too familiar with your life and its patterns.
Conclusion
Understanding where negativity comes from, realizing when you’re focused on it, understanding that you have the power to shift your mindset, and then actively engaging in changing it, can significantly improve your quality of life. Remember, experiencing negativity is a universal part of the human experience—it doesn’t define you, and you’re not alone in your efforts to overcome it. With a little awareness, practice, and some self-love, you can turn negativity around quickly.
We all face bouts of negativity, yet with the approach mentioned above, we can clear the hurdles we often place on our own paths, allowing us to bounce back with greater speed and ease.
Reference: Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Finkenauer, C., & Vohs, K. D. (2001). Bad is stronger than good. Review of General Psychology, 5(4), 323–370.
Thank you for reading this blog post! If you enjoyed the content and want to learn more about the topics discussed, I highly recommend checking out my book, REFLECT: A Perspective on Understanding Your Reality and Becoming Unstuck. In it, I dive deeper into the strategies and insights shared in this post, offering even more valuable information and practical advice. Click here to order your copy of REFLECT today! You can also visit my website for more information.
